girls in books

it is something

2009-10-04T11:05:05Z

i was walking home from friday dinner when i was suddenly overwhelmed by the feeling that i lived in the most beautiful city in the world. my neighbourhood is densely populated, full of tiny, pedestrian only streets of stone, full of little gardens and blue and green gates and shutters, basked in sun during the day and shadows at night. i've learned where all the jasmine trees are, and i can smell them from blocks away. it's the end of summer and the nights are cool and still. on friday night, the first night of succot, the moon was full and bright, lighting the starless sky, solitary. everyone's succahs were up, assembled on balconies or on the street, white boxes, lit from within, like giant glowing white lanterns.

sometimes i like when nothing happens. inventing choice and opportunity, sometimes out of boredom. waiting, thinking, using time to think up ideas, spend time with people and make things in a totally unrestricted way. anyway i got all positive a few months ago and some how, all of that has sort of created all this opportunity, in like, a bunch of areas in my life. it's kind of caught me by surprise though and i'm apprehensive. i mean, it's what you want; opportunity, chances, offers... but with it, obviously, comes the possibility of failure, messing things up, letting people down, being overwhelmed by choice and then making no choices, or letting choices make themselves. so i guess i should work on that. although honestly, these aren't the jobs i want. i love what i studied and i wish i was doing things i was qualified to do. i mean, a job's a job, and it's a good thing to have, and as much as i love jerusalem right now, i don't feel like this is the place where i'll be able to develop my career in the ways i really want to. i don't know. ok that's all. some cow moved my wet laundry from the line so i guess i should just use the dryer at the laundromat. ugh i never thought i'd be wishing for my own laundry.

***

2009-08-28T10:42:53Z

Family: I salute you, tearfully
Say this daily
Cradled in sturdy wood, clean cotton, good air
You put them here: me, these things
I accept with:
Firm jaw
Swell in the heart
The wet eye salute
Apology

need to

2009-08-25T20:51:08Z

*haven't posted in ages
*still living in jerusalem
*on some kind of positive, happy kick which is feeling sort of sustainable
*sort of just "want to get married"
*but don't even have someone who likes me, or that i like. i don't even have a crush or anything, although i did for a while a little bit ago
*figuring out work situation
*trying to draw/write/make things semi-regularly, sort of want to start painting again
*growing hair out
*starting podcast again this week
*haven't been to the movies since melbourne
*bought some saul bellow today. also reading camus. fancy, i know.

they go we go

2009-06-03T16:33:09Z

you're my double shadow

2009-05-04T19:44:03Z

probably the first sports game i've been to in at least 10 years

tel aviv won

keep it close

2009-04-30T06:38:57Z

hey everyone! long time no blog, i know. it's because now i live in israel.

for a little while, at least.

anyway i was at this playground yesterday and all the play equipment was like, versions of grownup gym equipment:

blogworthy, i thought.

alice

2009-03-29T09:58:12Z

ugh i'm so angry. hormonal forsure, but whatever. i'm so angry.

codr

2009-03-23T12:25:18Z

i don't know what the eff that says

purim style

2009-03-10T14:13:55Z

oscar

2009-03-08T03:51:40Z

i think that though my being such a proficient internet stalker, i subconsciously make myself extremely internet stalkable. i'm really easy to stalk. i better have stalkers. what a waste otherwise.

also hollaaaa it's my birthday.

killa beez

2009-03-06T08:24:29Z

first of all, i'm the brunch queen:

freeda took this picture, and i love it:

freeda:

yuff eats a pancake:

costume shop this morning:

surprise, i look amazing with red hair. never knew.

this apathy will kill me

2009-02-25T13:34:15Z

woke up, swam, ate, went to work, ate, sauna, tv, movie (rififi, no subtitles! oh wait, i found the subtitles), bed.

getting me mole off tomorrow.

stuff what i made

2009-02-05T12:55:59Z

i thought i'd paint again this summer, but instead i ended up doing music stuff. i'm not so good but in the past two weeks since i got back from india, i made this:

THE GENERAL NOTICES

CLEW DIVINE EP

download here

there are only four tracks on it. i have my moments.

nollywood dreamz

2009-02-02T23:46:38Z

welcome to nollywood.

the rhythm the rebel

2009-01-26T11:59:06Z

they don't know you like i do

2009-01-24T15:18:37Z

i follow you

2009-01-23T02:16:22Z

we stayed in fort cochin for a week and a half and above our room hung this painting. at first i was like, that painting is so STRANGE! anyway, by the the we left, i really loved it.

also i bought three pairs of shoes yesterday. it happened in about ten minutes. sometimes i'll go for months without seeing a single thing i like and then other times, i'll find three beautiful pairs and they'll all be on sale and they'll all fit well. yaaaaay!

and i also bought two dresses. and an ipod, but that was at the airport. so now i should probably stop buying stuff, or at least until i'm back at work.

plus plus

2009-01-21T11:30:26Z

and some other favourites:

retournee

2009-01-21T11:26:57Z

some india photos: i came back this morning! there's lots more but they're on facebook. i feel like most people who see my photos here might as well just see them on facebook. not sure why i'm posting photos here at all, or anything. continuity!

name please madam

2008-12-13T15:05:11Z

so i feel like i should post a little now that i'm india. i don't really feel like it though. i don't know! i'll have lots of pictures when i get back. we're hand sanitizing a lot. people hand us babies to hold. the attention was kind of fun at the start but it gets totally crazy. we're in this village and people crowd around us, showcasing the few english phrases they know, taking pictures secretly on their phones. saw a dead dog today and then some tiny newborn goats. it's so hot and i just want to go swimming already.

how what why when

2008-12-07T21:39:22Z

also off to india today, finally. totally nervy.

no matter where my feet are

2008-11-30T07:11:07Z

i'm scheduled to go to india this wednesday. obviously things aren't so certain now and i'm so fucking angry. i followed this whole thing unfold, watched this death toll steadily climb, waited as this fucked up chabad house thing happened. if i were a muslim, i'd be really fucking embarrassed. i can't respect any religion which encourages this kind of activity on such a large and frequent scale. if you want to change the world, if you want to change the people around you and if you want to change your self, THEN CHANGE YOUR FUCKING MIND. change it in your head. change your own fucked up way of life. a little harder then just going around killing people, i know.
but i don't want to cancel my trip. i still want to go, mostly because i've been waiting to go for ages and put in all this effort in preparing. i don't want to cancel my trip.

dilemma 2000

2008-11-21T01:59:38Z

got a haircut. don't love it.
BUT: which way am i parting it?

left

or right

you're everything i'm not

2008-11-20T14:44:08Z

sometimes i work at a supermarket and i truly love when people buy the following things:

coconuts
pregnancy tests
cinnamon raisin bread
birthday candles. the number ones.

only by night

2008-11-18T09:48:50Z

Off to India in two weeks.

this was the bike i learnt to ride on:

at lunch today:

david and margaret forever.